My Time and Lifes

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The Fray - How to Save a Life (New Video Version)

Stage Two involves a lot of trial-and-error and experimentation. In my Stage Two, I ran off and visited fifty-something countries. Stage Two is a process of self-discovery. We try things. Some of them go well. The goal is to stick with the ones that go well and move on.

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Stage Two lasts until we begin to run up against our own limitations. But despite what Oprah and Deepak Chopra may tell you, discovering your own limitations is a good and healthy thing. And you need to know what they are. I am not genetically inclined to ever excel at anything athletic whatsoever. It sucked for me to learn that, but I did. That was important to find out as well. We all must learn what we suck at. And the earlier in our life that we learn it, the better. Then there are other things that are great for a while, but begin to have diminishing returns after a few years.

Traveling the world is one example.

Happiness Is Not Enough: Why a Life Without Meaning Will Make You Sick

Sexing a ton of people is another. Drinking on a Tuesday night is a third. There are many more. Trust me. Your limitations are important because you must eventually come to the realization that your time on this planet is limited and, therefore, you should spend it on things that matter most. These people get stuck in Stage Two. At some point we all must admit the inevitable: life is short, not all of our dreams can come true, so we should carefully pick and choose what we have the best shot at and commit to it.

But people stuck in Stage Two spend most of their time convincing themselves of the opposite. That they are limitless. That they can overcome all. That their life is that of non-stop growth and ascendance in the world, while everyone else can clearly see that they are merely running in place. Out go the friends who are draining you and holding you back.

Out go the activities and hobbies that are a mindless waste of time. Out go the old dreams that are clearly not coming true anytime soon. You double down on the most important relationships in your life. Whatever it is, Stage Three is when you get it done. Stage Three is all about maximizing your own potential in this life. What will people remember you by? This inability to let go of the power and influence they crave counteracts the natural calming effects of time and they will often remain driven and hungry well into their 70s and 80s.

People arrive into Stage Four having spent somewhere around half a century investing themselves in what they believed was meaningful and important. This could be something as simple as supporting and advising their now grown children and living vicariously through them.

It could also mean becoming more politically active to maintain their values in a society that they no longer recognize. As humans, we have a deep need to feel as though our lives mean something. This meaning we constantly search for is literally our only psychological defense against the incomprehensibility of this life and the inevitability of our own death.

Breakthrough to YOUR Success with this Formula

Developing through each subsequent stage of life grants us greater control over our happiness and well-being. This is a horrible strategy because other people are unpredictable and unreliable. These are more controllable than other people, but they are still mostly unpredictable in the long-run. Stage Three relies on a handful of relationships and endeavors that proved themselves resilient and worthwhile through Stage Two.

These are more reliable. At each subsequent stage, happiness becomes based more on internal, controllable values and less on the externalities of the ever-changing outside world. They transcend them. Stage Two people still care about social approval.

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They just care about something more than social approval. Stage 3 people still care about testing their limits. If you were Stage Two and all of your friends were Stage Two, and suddenly you settle down, commit and get to work on Stage Three, yet your friends are still Stage Two, there will be a fundamental disconnect between your values and theirs that will be difficult to overcome.

Generally speaking, people project their own stage onto everyone else around them. People at Stage One will judge others by their ability to achieve social approval. People at Stage Two will judge others by their ability to push their own boundaries and try new things.

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Self-development is often portrayed as a rosy, flowery progression from dumbass to enlightenment that involves a lot of joy, prancing in fields of daisies, and high-fiving two thousand people at a seminar you paid way too much to be at. The more clear and upfront you are with your manager and the other people you work with, the better it will be for you in the long term. Get away from your normal workplace even if only for five minutes.

Try taking a break from the laptop, emails and do leave the mobile behind. Make sure that you do have that lunch break — it is not just for food but also for fresh air and a mental break. Eat a healthy lunch and if you must snack, make sure it is healthy too — an apple rather than a bag of crisps. Look for ways of energising yourself, other than from adrenaline and caffeine. No matter how challenging the work gets or how demanding your bosses become, it, at the end of the day it is only a job and you are much more than that. In years to come, you will look back and wonder what the fuss was.

Contribute towards creating a pleasant work environment. Do not gossip in the office as it just creates negativity all around. Do not listen to any gossip either.

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  6. Minimise your time with people that you do not resonate with or like. Learn to have more fun at work. Laugh more and chill out. Perform with a more fun orientated approach. Look at what worked well, and what could be improved the next day. You deserve it. You are already at work a third of your time, so do not continue to keep it buzzing in your head during your supposed free time.

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